History

Today I had a follow-up with my endocrinologist.  To backtrack, I went for my first appointment in December, because for a few years I've been having this horrible 4:00 slump.  Like, to the point where sometimes on my way home from tutoring I was afraid I'd have to pull over and take a nap. My drive is only 20-25 minutes. This is with going to bed at a normal time (I swear I used to).  I also was working out like CRAZY and eating really well and was still not losing weight.  I had Lap-Band surgery in 2006, worked out with a personal trainer, did Weight Watchers, Body by Vi, Shakeology (this actually worked some but is crazy expensive), P90, T25, Turbo Jam, Zumba...weight loss was ridiculously time consuming with little to no return on my investment.

My PCP had already diagnosed me with Metabolic Syndrome aka Syndrome X.  Metabolic Syndrome is actually an umbrella term (or is it?) for a bunch of different symptoms, that when coupled, magically become Metabolic Syndrome.  The #1 treatment for Metabolic Syndrome is weight loss.  My PCP also prescribed me Metformin, because one of the hallmarks (not as fun as the store) is becoming pre-diabetic.

Back to the #1 treatment for Metabolic Syndrome: weight loss.  I've already established this is something I've wanted/worked on/been desperate for during most of my life.  But there's a catch with Metabolic Syndrome.  Your body works against you at every turn.  My PCP described it like this:
If myself and an "average" person ate the exact same meal, down to the exact macro-nutrients, it would take my body 2x (or more) longer to process the food, to burn it.  She also added that I'm a "survivor" body type, and that during cavemen times, I would have been the best kind of person because food shortages wouldn't have affected me.  Hooray for being a badass cave woman! *sarcasm*

Back in the late 90s, my first obgyn suggested that I might have something called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), but that it was nothing to be concerned with and taking birth control would prevent the cysts from forming. I thought that was the end of that.

Fast-forward to December 2015.  My endocrinologist does a TON of blood tests and a 24 hour urine sample (which suuuuuucked).  All that pointed to me having low, but in normal range thyroid levels, low human growth hormone (is that why I'm short and have T-rex arms?), normal range blood sugar, and high blood pressure at the beginning of our visit in December because I have an intense anxiety of having high blood pressure.  (This is a story for another time, but I promise it has a cause and isn't completely irrational).  The endocrinologist mentioned that she saw all signs pointing to PCOS.  That wasn't new, so even though I was upset that it was coming back to the forefront again, I wasn't blindsided.

What confused me was when she told me that Metabolic Syndrome falls under the umbrella of PCOS.  Whaaaaat?  All along I had been told/misunderstood that it was the other way around.  I'm still not sure which is actually correct, but it doesn't really matter in the long run.  She continually asks me if I have excess hair growth on parts of my body where females don't normally have hair.  I want to say, "I have told you no at least 6 times now...the answer is NO!"  Instead I calmly shake my head no, after all, it's her job to ask me uncomfortable questions, even if I become suddenly afraid that I look like Chewbacca without even knowing.

The only way to confirm for sure that I indeed have PCOS, is to test my testosterone levels.  This can only be accomplished by going off the birth control for at least a month, then testing my levels, because ya know, the birth control apparently makes you less filled with dude hormones.  I was all for that, but then I asked her what the treatment would be if we had the definite diagnosis.  She replied, "You're already on the number one treatment, birth control coupled with Metformin."  That sealed it for me.  I didn't need an affirmative box checked if the outcome was going to be identical to my life now.  So basically I have (not definitively) PCOS.  That was a harder pill to swallow at my age. PCOS can make getting pregnant very difficult.  I'm not going to worry about that now, though. God's got a plan and I trust it. I trust Him.

I'm just going to keep walking, running, and dancing down this path.  I'm going to exercise as much as I can, eat as well as I can (most of the time, because...cake, cheese, Mexican food), and listen to the advice of my doctors.  I'm going to keep taking thyroid medicine even though my numbers are in low-normal ranges because new research (and some from the 90s even) shows that even low-normal ranges have a huge affect on weight loss ability and fatigue. (Read this article for more info).  Also, I've lost about 25 pounds since December.  I still want to lose about 135 more, but 25 pounds is something to celebrate!

I'm going to keep trying because I firmly and personally believe that I will only fail when I stop trying.