Pineapples

A few months ago, I saw a meme that said, "Be a pineapple, stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside."  I immediately identified with the saying.  You see, I'm a lover of quotes.  I'm a loquacious bibliophile, so loving quotes comes along with the territory.  I could read quotes all day long.  When P and I were first dating, I'd send him at least one quote a day.  The truth is, sometimes we don't need to think of our own words.  Sometimes, there's someone else who has thought what you've thought, felt what you've felt, and feels exactly the same way.

"But, that's inauthentic!"you say.  False, is my reply to you.  I think reading what someone else has said and identifying with it on a very personal level is not only a revelation of your authentic self, it's a revelation of the mere idea that every human on this planet has things in common.

I've been working hard on trying not to be judgmental.  It's not so pervasive that I treat others differently because of my thoughts, but in my opinion, it's TOO much.  Looking at someone walking across a parking lot and thinking, "What IS she wearing?!" is usually the extent of my judgment, but it's enough.  It's enough to lead to another, deeper judgment.  It's enough that someday it could lead to me treating someone differently.  We all have our own viewpoints, we all view the world through a different lens.  I want to change the focus of my lens.  I don't want to look at a woman wearing something that in my opinion is too tight, too revealing, too short, or whatever and immediately think badly of her.  I want to neutralize it into a thought such as, "That's what she's choosing to wear," or perhaps pay her outfit no mind.  I'd like to think I could mentally give her props for being so confident, but I know I'm not going to be able to do that all of the time.  I know I'm still going to falter.  I also know that if I try to make this one little change in myself from the inside out, that it'll help me to stand tall and develop my own confidence.  It'll help me be sweet on the inside.

Wearing a crown is something I've always found lovely and fascinating.  Growing up, my sister was the princess aligned child.  I was feminine, but I wasn't the girly girl.  I'm much more of a girly girl now.  I do not leave the house without mascara.  I think glitter is one of the most beautiful inventions ever.  Pink is my absolute favorite color.  But I still don't consider myself a "princessy" kind of girl.   My favorite Disney princess is Belle.  She starts off as a provincial French girl who loves to read and take care of her Papa and ends up with a library I can only dream of.  Oh, and the prince, too.  (In the interest of my above paragraph, I won't comment on that particular prince.  In his defense, it's difficult to follow Prince Eric!)  But Belle didn't get all of that wonderful stuff or fall in love because she was wearing a crown.  It all happened for her because she was sweet on the inside.  In fact, most of the archetypal Disney princesses weren't born princesses, wearing a crown, at all.  But they all were indeed, sweet.

Yes, I know this world isn't a fairy tale.  I know that animals cleaning my house, glass slippers, and magic carpet rides are a fantasy, and one I'd best avoid wallowing in for too long lest I create unrealistic expectations in my future marriage.  But I think it's perfectly realistic to stand tall and work on my self confidence.  I think it's wonderful to wear a crown on special occasions and let others take care of you (I realllllly struggle with this!).  To me, wearing a crown symbolizes the "I'm worth it, I'm worth something!" idea.  I unequivocally think we need to be sweet on the inside.  This woman shaming, fat shaming, skinny shaming, sanctimommy, judgmental highway that women seem to be driving on needs to be destroyed.  We are all connected.  We are all human.  And we all have it in us to be pineapples.